DNS's The Weakest Link - Episode 1
by DefinitelyNotSneaky
Summary: Hi there. I have noticed that the game show The Weakest Link could be back in the UK some time this year. In the meantime, you're welcome to read my fan-made episode featuring the cute and cuddly characters from one of my favourite cartoons, Happy Tree Friends. Don't worry, it does NOT contain gore at all. Just the mentions, hence the T rating. I do NOT own any of these two shows!
1. Round 1

_We see nine of the characters from Happy Tree Friends: Cuddles, Giggles, Toothy, Lumpy, Petunia, Handy, Sniffles, Flaky, and Cub, all having a conversation (inaudible, as the theme music plays over it)_

John: Here are the nine contestants ready to take on for tonight's show. Only one of them will win up to £1,000,000 for their charity, while the others will leave here with nothing, as round by round, they'll be voted of as… The Weakest Link.

 _We now see a silver link wiping the screen from right to left. Against a pale blue background, three silver links move around as the screen cuts to different views a couple more times. Then the words 'WEAKEST' and 'LINK' slide around two of the links in which they form the official logo. A couple seconds later, the background fades to reveal the Anne Droid next to the logo, while facing us_

Anne Droid: Welcome… to a special edition… of The Weakest Link.

 _As the lights fade in, the camera zooms out to reveal the contestants and the audience_

Anne Droid: The nine Tree Friends in the studio here tonight are all used to facing extreme gory adventures.

 _As the droid spoke, the real Anne Robinson appears in the studio and marches towards the droid. She unplug the wires, deactivating Anne Droid, and causing the contestants and the audience to laugh_

Anne: I don't think so! I think we'll do that again.

 _She takes over as the logo reappears next to her. The music sting plays again_

Anne: Welcome… to a special edition… of The Weakest Link.

 _The lights fade in, and the camera zooms out once more to reveal the contestants and the audience applauding_

Anne: The nine Tree Friends in the studio here tonight are all used to facing extreme gory adventures. None of them have ever survived that much.

 _The audience and the contestants laugh, but Anne does not care that much_

Anne: Anyway, they could win up to £1,000,000 for their charity. But, if they want to win that prize money, they have to work as a team. But eight of them will leave with nothing… as round by round, we lose the player voted… The Weakest Link. Let's meet the team!

 _After a short jingle, the camera pans from each contestant to another, one by one, as their spotlights light up_

Cuddles: My name is Cuddles, I came here to prove that I'm worthy of being so fragile from whenever I get hugged.

Audience: Awww…

Giggles: I'm Giggles, and here to warn all the people about the environment! Hmph!

Toothy: Toothy here. And just because I have a crush in Cuddles just doesn't mean you can judge me from the LGBT law so badly!

Lumpy: I'm Lumpy, though why did you take me here in this studio again?

 _The audience laugh_

Petunia: I'm Petunia, I'm the most attractive skunk you could ever see, judging by my OCD and my cute air freshener.

Handy: I'm Handy, but you can see that I'm NOT handy…

 _He shows his bandaged arms disappointingly, making the audience murmur_

Handy: …but I can play this just by using my mouth to speak.

 _The audience one again laugh at this fact_

Sniffles: My name is Sniffles. I may be the smartest kid in our world, but I could not stand any of the ants trying to brutalise me!

Flaky: Hi… I'm Flaky, glad to see that there are no chicks in this place…

 _She laughs nervously, making the audience sigh in awe_

Cub: And I'm Cub, Pop's careful son! I am playing this alone so Daddy won't disturb me so close… well, at least he's here behind me.

Pop (offscreen): I'm cheering for you Son!

 _The audience giggle briefly, then applauded. The camera zooms back to reveal the full view of the studio again, before Anne starts to explain to the contestants about how to play the game_

Anne: Now the rules: in each round, the aim is to answer enough questions correctly to reach your £100,000 target WITHIN the time limit. There are nine of you, so the fastest way to reach that target is to create a chain of nine correct answers. Get your question wrong, and you break the chain and lose all the money in that chain. But if you say the word 'BANK' before the question is asked, the money is safe. However, you will then start a new chain from scratch. Remember team, at the end of the round, only money that has been banked can be carried on to the next round. In round one, there are three minutes on the clock. We'll start with the person whose name is first alphabetically… and that's you, Cub.

Cub (surprised): Me first? Oh no…

 _Anne smirks at the youngest contestant_

Anne: Let's play… THE WEAKEST LINK!

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Cub_

Anne: The first question is for £1,000. Start the clock!

 _As the time starts, the money tree fades in on the left hand side of the screen you can see here:_

 _£100,000  
£70,000  
£45,000  
£25,000  
£10,000  
£5,000  
£3,000  
£2,000  
£1,000_

 _£0  
BANK_

Anne: Cub, in history, the treasure map usually shows a mark drawn by what letter?

Cub: X.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in music, which English artist had a No. 1 hit single "Shape of You"?

Cuddles: Ed Sheeran!

Anne: Correct. Giggles, in politics, who was the first female British prime minister?

Giggles: …Margaret Thatcher?

Anne: Correct. Toothy, the two colours featured in a pack of 52 playing cards are red and…

Toothy: Black.

Anne: Correct. Lumpy…

Lumpy: BANK!

Anne: In biology, which sense is needed to be used for testing how warm the water is, touch or taste?

Lumpy: Taste?

Anne: No, touch. Petunia, in maths, what is 56 minus 20?

Petunia: 36!

Anne: Correct. Handy, in food, the flavour earl grey is commonly known from what type of beverage?

Handy: Tea?

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in geography, the kiwi bird is native to which country?

Sniffles: New Zealand.

Anne: Correct. Flaky, in sport, how many nets are shown in a soccer pitch?

Flaky: …Two.

Anne: Correct. Cub, complete the phrase: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it…"

Cub: Drink!

Anne: Correct! Cuddles, in television, Jim Parsons provide the role of which character from the comedy series "The Big Bang Theory"?

Cuddles: Sheldon.

Anne: Correct. Giggles, in books, who wrote the novel "Matilda"?

Giggles: Roald Dahl.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in films, the family movie "Frozen" was created by which film company?

Toothy: Disney.

Anne: I'll accept. Lumpy…

Lumpy: BANK!

Anne: In chemistry, which chemical has its symbol He? Hydrogen or helium?

Lumpy: It's hydrogen!

Anne: No, helium! Petunia, in geography, if the temperature is below zero degrees Celsius, what falls from the clouds? Snow or rain?

Petunia: Snow.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in physics, which measurement is used for speed? Miles per hour, or seconds per kilogram?

Handy: Miles per hour.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in maths, what is 5 squared?

Sniffles: 25.

Anne: Correct. Flaky, in religion, what body organ do you use to pray? Feet or hands?

Flaky: Hands!

Anne: Correct. Cub, in astronomy, which is said to be the largest planet in our solar system?

Cub: Jupiter!

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in history, which century did the Victorian times begin?

Cuddles: Nineteenth.

Anne: Correct. Giggles…

Giggles: BANK!

 _Suddenly, the perfect round jingle plays, and the audience cheer and applaud for the team to have passed, with 32 seconds left to spare_

Handy: Come on team!

Cub: WHOO-HOO!

Pop: That's my boy!

Flaky: Phew…

Cuddles: THAT'S how we do it!

 _The audience stop clapping_

Anne (not too impressed): A reasonable start, team.

 _Everyone including the contestants laugh_

Anne: …Ok. You've reached and banked your £100,000 target within the time limit. That money will go over to the next round. But of course, one of you will not. Who is it? Who's worrying you? Who may be a bit on the dim side? Who don't you like? It's time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: In an impressive first round, Cub is the strongest link. The weakest link is Lumpy as he was the only player to get all his answers wrong, despite having banked £75,000 in total. But will he survive on the first vote?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Lumpy.

Giggles: Lumpy.

Toothy: Lumpy.

Lumpy: Flaky.

Petunia: Lumpy.

Handy: Lumpy.

Sniffles: Lumpy.

Flaky: Lumpy.

Cub: Lumpy.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Cub_

Anne: Cub. Do you have any idea how brave you were against that round?

Cub: Uh… no?

 _The audience laugh_

Anne: You were very brave, actually. You've answered all your questions without even hesitating!

Cub: Ooh… I knew that, hehe.

Anne: You also seem to act as if I'm your step grandmother.

Cub: …possibly.

Anne: Great to have you on this show, at least for an infant.

 _The audience giggle_

Anne: Why Lumpy?

Cub: Well I noticed he didn't do well. He didn't get a question right.

Anne: Mhm.

 _Anne then turns to Flaky_

Anne: Flaky!

Flaky: …who, me?

Anne: Yes, you. I just noticed you have a fear of chicks.

Flaky: Yeah… why?

Anne (coldly): I'M the biggest chick here.

Flaky: EEEEEK!

 _Flaky hides behind her podium so cowardly that it made the audience laugh loud. The contestants do not find this funny however_

Petunia: That was beyond scary, Miss! You've terrified our friend here!

Anne (sarcastically): Whoops.

 _Flaky shakenly stands up again_

Anne: Surprise, I was lying!

Flaky: Darn it!

Anne: Why Lumpy?

Flaky: …hmph. Well, like Cub said, Lumpy got all his questions wrong.

Anne: Well team, Lumpy was indeed the weakest link statistically in that round. Although he banked the most money for all of you. Isn't that right Mister?

Lumpy: Oh, I banked a lot of money?

Anne: Yes. But the fact that you were also stupid at answering questions, it cost you dearly. Lumpy, with eight votes, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Lumpy leaves his podium, and taking the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Lumpy having an interview_

Lumpy: It was so fun playing this game. But having to be voted off in the first round is a bit of a pickle. I think Flaky should be next to get off. She could not help but protect herself from that so called harm.


	2. Round 2

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round two, team, and in the bank, £100,000. There are eight of you left. This time, the questions get a little harder, and we are now taking ten seconds off your time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round, and that's you Cub!

Cub: Oh my…

Pop (offscreen): You can do this my boy.

Anne: Let's play… The Weakest Link!

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Cub_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts, but this time there are 2 minutes and 50 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Cub, in food, what S comes after icing, caster, and granulated?

Cub: Sugar.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in sport, which country won the most World Cup tournaments?

Cuddles: Brazil?

Anne: Correct. Giggles, in music, as of today, a music video has had the largest number of views on YouTube; what's the title of the song?

Giggles: Despacito.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in biology, what M is a kind of tooth that can mash food?

Toothy: Molar!

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in history, who was the Goddess of Love?

Petunia: Venus.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in maths, what is 100 divided by 25?

Handy: 4.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in films, what decade did the first Superman movie launch in cinemas?

Sniffles: …the 1970s.

Anne: Correct! Flaky, in books, complete the title: "Harry Potter and the Chamber of…"

Flaky: …um… s-secrets?

Anne: Correct. Cub, in geography, what is the capital city of Japan?

Cub: Tokyo?

Anne: Correct. Cuddles…

Cuddles: BANK!

 _Suddenly, the perfect round jingle plays, and the audience cheer and applaud for the team to have passed, with 1 minute and 45 seconds left to spare_

Giggles: Yeah-ha!

Toothy: Hooray, let's keep it up!

Petunia: Hahahahaha! We're too good…

Sniffles: This is our lucky day.

Anne: Okay team. Now this is what I call a good start. Sorry if I called it reasonable first…

 _Everyone laugh_

Anne: Right. Once again, you've reached and banked your £100,000 target. That money will go over to the next round. One of you will not, of course. Who's giving you the chills? Who is close to breaking your chain? And who tries to make you believe in scary-tales? It's time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: For the second time in a row, Cub is the strongest link. The weakest link is Flaky… but will the votes follow the facts?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Flaky.

Giggles: Sniffles.

Toothy: Flaky.

Petunia: Flaky.

Handy: Cub.

Sniffles: Flaky.

Flaky: Cub.

Cub: Flaky.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Giggles_

Anne: Giggles. What did you say to the audience you're going to warn them about?

Giggles: I was warning them about the clean environment.

Anne: Just take this for example: at first you would stop Lumpy from cutting down trees, but now I know you are also fond of campfires.

Giggles: What?

 _She gets confused, but soon gets embarrassed_

Giggles: Oh… that.

 _The audience giggle as Anne now turns to Sniffles_

Anne: Sniffles! At least you did your very best into befriending Giggles.

Sniffles: What do you mean?

Anne: I've been told that she and you were wrapped around in chains against a tree. And then… you growled at that dumb moose.

Sniffles: Oh yeah. We kinda had enough of his ignorance.

Anne: Interesting. Why Flaky?

Sniffles: Uh, I think she was the slowest out of all of us at answering.

Anne: Flaky. Let's see if you are tolerant with the walk of shame.

Flaky: It isn't worthy of a fearsome activity anyway, Miss.

Anne: Good for you. With five votes, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Flaky leaves her podium, and taking the Walk of Shame, feeling very sad. The screen fades to the next slide of Flaky having an interview_

Flaky: I don't think this is the right game for me to play. Anne is just… the creepiest human I had ever saw in real life. But at least I get to leave here quite early. I think the next friend to go would be Toothy. Most people may not understand this, but I thought Toothy looked like he could be a little sneaky.


	3. Round 3

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round three, team, and in the bank, £200,000. There are seven of you left. We are now taking another ten seconds off your time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round… and believe me, Cub, that is you again.

Cub (in his mind): Come on… keep it up.

Anne: Let's play… The Weakest Link.

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Cub_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there are 2 minutes and 40 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Cub, in history, what E is the term meaning "I have found it" used by the ancient Greek mathematician, Archimedes?

Cub: …I don't know.

Anne: Eureka. Cuddles, in geography, what A is the term used to describe an extra shake happening after an earthquake?

Cuddles: Aftershock.

Anne: Correct. Giggles, in physics, infra-red radiation is the term used for which of these activities? Warmth or transmission?

Giggles: Warmth.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in maths, what is 15 multiplied by 100?

Toothy: …1,500!

Anne: Correct. Petunia…

Petunia: BANK!

Anne: In media, a prank that is called a "Rickroll" was often used on YouTube; what song performed by Rick Astley?

Petunia: …can you repeat the question, please?

Anne: In media, a prank that is called a "Rickroll" was often used on YouTube; what song performed by Rick Astley?

Petunia: Oh, "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Anne: Correct. Handy, in film, who starred as Jareth in the 1986 fantasy film Labyrinth? Nicholas Cage or David Bowie?

Handy: Nicholas Cage.

Anne: No, David Bowie. Sniffles, in sport, who set the world record for the 100m race at 9.58 seconds?

Sniffles: Usain Bolt.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in television, the longest running cartoon series shown on Fox features a family of five yellow skinned people living in Springfield. What are they?

Cub: The Simpsons!

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in religion, how many disciples sat down next to Jesus during the Last Supper?

Cuddles: Twelve.

Anne: Correct. Giggles…

Giggles: BANK!

Anne: In music, Robbie Williams had a 1998 smash hit single titled "Let Me…" what?

Giggles: …Rock You.

Anne: Entertain You! Toothy, in chemistry, the table showing all 118 chemicals is called the what table?

Toothy: Periodic.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in biology, what P is the term used to describe a child growing into an adult?

Petunia: Puberty.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in art, who painted the famous image "The Starry Night"?

Handy: Vincent Van Goph.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in spelling, what letter is featured in the word 'FLESH' but not 'SELF'?

Sniffles: H.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in food, what T is part of a cocktail along with Gin?

Cub: …tonic.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in maths, what is the only prime number that is even?

Cuddles: 2.

Anne: Correct. Giggles…

Giggles: BANK!

Anne: In films, who directed the animated movie "Toy Story"?

Giggles: Uh, John Lasseter!

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in sport, a decathlon involves how many events?

Toothy: Ten.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in history, how many wives did Henry VIII marry?

Petunia: Six.

Anne: Correct. Handy…

Handy: BANK!

Anne: In music, who had a No. 1 hit album in the 1980s that included the songs "Bad" and "Smooth Criminal"?

Handy: Um…

 _Before Handy can answer, the end-of-round jingle suddenly played throughout the studio_

Anne: Time's up. The correct answer is Michael Jackson. And in that round, team… you've managed to bank £34,000. Don't clap… because ironically, you had a chain of nine correct answers. So if you could have risked it all, you could have banked £100,000. Whose fault is it for breaking a small chain? And who should have studied more… by listening to an MP3 enough times?

 _The audience laugh_

Anne: It's time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: For the first time in the game, Cuddles is the strongest link. Statistically, the weakest link is Handy. But whose game is over?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Handy.

Giggles: Cub.

Toothy: Giggles.

Petunia: Giggles.

Handy: Cub.

Sniffles: Giggles.

Cub: Handy.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Cuddles_

Anne: Cuddles.

Cuddles: Yeah?

Anne: Think back to when you, Toothy and Giggles were in that merry go round.

Cuddles: Uh-huh?

Anne: Your death, which is ripping your arms and getting blended by an aircraft… seemed to amuse toddlers.

Cuddles: Whoa… this old death?

Anne: Precisely. Like when a father in Canada showed this to his little daughter.

Cuddles: No… this can't be true. It's meant to be rated TV-14… possibly TV-MA!

Anne: In its early days on the computer, it was rated TV-Y.

Cuddles: …strange.

 _The audience laugh as Anne now turns to Toothy_

Anne: Toothy. Isn't it true that your buck teeth seemed to attract Cuddles there? Or is it his ears that lead you head over heels?

Toothy: …don't even think about it.

 _The audience giggle_

Anne: Why Giggles?

Toothy: Well, I got so shocked that she got a music question wrong, when in fact, she loves music.

Giggles: Hehe… well… only except for this one.

Anne: Well, team, Giggles wasn't the weakest link statistically. In fact, with one answer wrong, and another answer not said in time, Handy was the weakest link in that round. But it's votes that count! Giggles, with three votes, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Giggles leaves her podium, and taking the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Giggles having an interview_

Giggles: If I had focused a little more on that subject, I should have been intact for further rounds. Now I feel really disappointed, having lost in the game, but the chances of winning is pretty slim anyways. I think Cub should be next to get voted off because I have a feeling he may not do well with the harder questions, whereupon he is very young.


	4. Round 4

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round four, and in the bank, team, you've banked a total of £234,000 out of a possible 300,000. There are six of you left; another ten seconds coming off the time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round… this time, it's you, Cuddles.

Cuddles: Wow!

Anne: Let's play… The Weakest Link.

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Cuddles_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there are 2 minutes and 30 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Cuddles, in astronomy, what L is the name of the measurement used to describe the speed of light travelling for 365 days?

Cuddles: Lightyear.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in media, a disc that is about the same size as a vinyl record, and is used for home video usage before DVDs were invented, is called what?

Toothy: …video disc.

Anne: No, laserdisc. Petunia, in maths, what is the square root of 225?

Petunia: …15.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in spelling, how many S's are shown in the word 'MISSISSIPPI'?

Handy: …four.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in politics, which party does Theresa May lead?

Sniffles: Conservatives.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in physics, a spectrum light consists of how many colours?

Cub: Seven!

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in music, who composed the symphony "Ode to Joy"?

Cuddles: Ludwig Van Beethoven?

Anne: Correct. Toothy…

Toothy: BANK!

Anne: In books, the novel "Animal Farm" is heavily based on what historic event?

Toothy: World War I.

Anne: No, the Russian Revolution. Petunia, in chemistry, acid has its pH balance of what range? 1 to 7 or 7 to 14?

Petunia: 1 to 7.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in sport, which country did the 2010 World Cup take place in?

Handy: …South Africa.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, if a roman numeral L is doubled, the result can be represented by which other roman numeral?

Sniffles: C.

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In biology, what name is given to the back of a human or animal's skull?

Cub: …cranium?

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in films, "The Wizard of Oz" features the enemy of Dorothy named The Wicked Witch of what direction?

Cuddles: West.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in technology, what S is the term used to describe a comment or e-mail that the receiver thinks it's junk?

Toothy: …uh, stream.

Anne: Spam. Petunia, in television, the title of which spinoff of Family Guy features the Brown family as the Griffins' neighbours?

Petunia: The Cleveland Show.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in maths, what is 56 divided by 8?

Handy: …9?

Anne: No, 7. Sniffles, in entertainment, which 1970s musical has been featuring the songs "Summer Nights" and "We Go Together"?

Sniffles: …Grease!

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In sport, what L does the number 0 represent for in tennis scores?

Cub: Pass.

Anne: Love. Cuddles, in food, what type of beverage is tequila? Soft or alcoholic?

Cuddles: Alcoholic.

Anne: Correct. Toothy, in history, who became the king of-

 _Before Anne can finish her question, the end-of-round jingle suddenly plays throughout the studio_

Anne: Time's up, I can't complete the question. And out of a possible £100,000, team… you've banked a miserable £14,000. Whose fault is that? Who left their wallet full of banks? Who's been eager to speak up so soon? And who thinks about neglecting infants… like Cub here?

 _The audience sighed in awe_

Anne: It's time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: With no correct answers, Toothy is the weakest link. The statistics show that Cuddles is the strongest link for the second time in a row. But how will the votes go?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Toothy.

Toothy: Handy.

Petunia: Toothy.

Handy: Toothy.

Sniffles: Toothy.

Cub: Toothy.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Sniffles_

Anne: Sniffles. What did you say to us about you hard life?

Sniffles: I said that I had enough of the ants brutalising me.

Anne: Aw. That's what it said in our wiki. May I suggest that not only you're a nerdy anteater… but XxCandy-SwirlxX from out here thinks you're the cutest happy tree friend.

Sniffles: That is true… why?

 _Anne eventually walks towards Sniffles' podium_

Anne: Because, Sniffles, you are about to receive a free present from ME!

 _With no hesitation, Anne pulls out her camera and takes a selfie of her and Sniffles, who blushes. As the audience applauds, Anne walks back to her computer podium_

Sniffles: That was… nice.

Anne: Why Toothy?

Sniffles: I think it's because he did not get a single question right.

Anne: Ok. Now Handy. Tell me what do you exactly do for a living?

Handy: Hm. I just like to structure small houses and fix stuff.

Anne: And how did you do that without your hands?

Handy: Uh… I'd rather not tell.

Anne: Care to explain how you lost your hands?

Handy: It is so hard to explain, that's all.

Anne: In that case, unlike you and your friends bringing back to life after each episode, your hands will NEVER get back to your arms.

 _Upon hearing this, Handy makes his signature scowl, making this audience giggle_

Anne: Why Toothy?

Handy: I voted for him because it was just his bad luck at getting such tricky questions given.

Anne: Toothy! With five votes, you ARE the weakest link! Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Toothy leaves his podium, and taking the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Toothy having an interview_

Toothy: Being a beaver in my world is good; being a contestant on TV is even better! The next person I think should go might be Handy. I was guessing he might have got slipped up on the last round. That doesn't matter though, because I don't even care if I lost in that round, it was really fun actually. And quite funny to be called the weakest link! Hahahahaha!


	5. Round 5

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round five, team. In the bank, you've made a total of £248,000 out of a possible 400,000. There are five of you left; another ten seconds coming off your time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round… that is you, Cuddles. Let's play… The Weakest Link.

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Cuddles_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there are 2 minutes and 20 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Cuddles, in media, which of Sony game consoles is the longest running?

Cuddles: …PS3.

Anne: No, PS2. Petunia, in television, which actor played the tenth doctor in the British sci-fi show Doctor Who?

Petunia: David Tennant.

Anne: Correct. Handy, in music, which instrument family does the saxophone come from?

Handy: Brass.

Anne: No, woodwind. Sniffles, in geography, which two elements are contained by the inner core of the Earth?

Sniffles: Iron and nickel.

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In maths, what is 4 cubed?

Cub: …40.

Anne: No, 64. Cuddles, in sport, who won the gold medal in tennis finals of the London 2012 Olympic Games?

Cuddles: Andy Murray.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in politics, which century did George Washington become the first American President?

Petunia: Oh, um… is it… seventeenth?

Anne: Eighteenth! Handy, in chemistry, which of these is an alloy metal? Steel, Iron or Gold?

Handy: Steel?

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in films, which of these movies grossed the highest money? Shrek 2, Toy Story 3, or Frozen?

Sniffles: …Frozen.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in astronomy, which planet was discovered in 1930 that was also reclassified as a dwarf planet in 2006?

Cub: Pluto!

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in biology, what A are the tiny air sacs of the lungs which allow for rapid gaseous exchange?

Cuddles: Alveoli.

Anne: Correct. Petunia…

Petunia: BANK!

Anne: In spelling, what letter is featured in the word 'GLISTEN' but not 'SILENT'?

Petunia: S... G!

Anne: No, I have to accept your first answer. Handy, in maths, what is the cube root of 125?

Handy: …5.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in television, the Canadian voice actor Noah Reid played which title turtle character in the children's show from 1997-2004?

Sniffles: Franklin.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in media, the classic video game Tetris originated in what country?

Cub: Russia?

Anne: Correct! Cuddles, in geography, what month is said to contain the shortest day? November, December or January?

Cuddles: December.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in history, what was the first name of Columbus, the man who discovered America?

Petunia: Christopher.

Anne: Correct. Handy…

Handy: BANK!

Anne: In food, which candy is said to be banned in Singapore due to maintenance problems and vandalism?

Handy: Is it… um… chewing gum?

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in economy, before Germany was given the currency of Euro, what-

 _Before Anne can finish her question, the end-of-round jingle suddenly plays throughout the studio_

Anne: Time's up, I can't complete the question. And team, in that round, you've only managed to bank a dull and pitiful amount of cash, as much as £16,000. Who's in need of mental floss? Who's one fry short of a Happy Meal? And whose traffic light is permanently stuck on red?

 _Everyone laughs_

Anne: It is time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: As the only player to get all his answers right, Sniffles is the strongest link. The statistics show that Petunia is the weakest link. But will the players notice this?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Petunia.

Petunia: Cub.

Handy: Petunia.

Sniffles: Handy.

Cub: Handy.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne announces the result_

Anne: We have a tie, team! Petunia and Handy, both have two votes each. Cub, why Handy?

Cub: Well, um, he took too long to answer most of his questions.

Anne: Let me remind you Cub, have you ever thought about being baby-sitted by someone whenever Pop is not around?

Cub: …I remember Handy doing that…

Anne: And now you're voting him off.

Cub: He… accidentally killed me.

Handy: I said I was sorry!

Anne: Ok. How would you feel if Petunia was your mommy?

Cub: I actually love her!

Petunia: Heheh, I guess I should have took over my boyfriend.

Anne: Try to keep that in mind Petunia. Cuddles, why Petunia?

Cuddles: I think she got a couple questions wrong, including that letter mistake.

Anne: Didn't bother voting off Sniffles?

Cuddles: …what are you talking about?

Anne: About you, and all your friends. I just thought you wouldn't vote off anyone!

Cuddles: Oh yeah, I see what you mean… I couldn't even vote for myself…

 _The audience laugh_

Anne: Well, if the scores are tied, the strongest link has to cast the deciding vote. And the strongest link in this round… is Sniffles.

Sniffles: Aha…!

Audience: AWWWW!

 _Anne briefly glares at Sniffles_

Anne: Did you just show off your cuteness?

Sniffles: Hm?

Anne: You're always showing it off throughout the game.

Sniffles: Oh, I… I didn't mean to.

Anne: Anyway, you have a choice now: you can either stick with your vote for Handy, or you can change your mind and send Petunia off.

Sniffles: Nah, I'd stick with Handy. I thought he did worse than Petunia. Uh, but, no offense.

Handy: Meh, that is all right.

Anne: Handy…

Handy: Yes Anne…?

Anne: …You ARE the weakest link! Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Handy leaves his podium, and taking the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Handy having an interview_

Handy: It is ok to take part in a gameshow with no hands required. Though I feel really offended when Anne told me I will never get my hands back ever! Maybe it was just her daily identity. The next person I think should go might be Petunia because of the trickier questions that made her slip up and losing money for our charity.


	6. Round 6

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round six, team. In the bank, £264,000. There are four of you left; we're taking another ten seconds off your time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round, and that's you, Sniffles. Let's play… The Weakest Link.

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Sniffles_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there are 2 minutes and 10 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Sniffles, in books, "The Jungle Book" written by Rudyard Kipling was set in which country?

Sniffles: India.

Anne: Correct. Cub, in geography, the meteor that ended the cretaceous era of dinosaurs crashed into which continent?

Cub: …Africa.

Anne: North America. Cuddles, in chemistry, what material is used for soft pencils? Lead, graphite or silver?

Cuddles: …Lead.

Anne: Graphite. Petunia, in history, what A is the capital city that is named after the Greek goddess of Wisdom?

Petunia: Athens.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in maths, how many corners does an undecagon have?

Sniffles: Eleven.

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In physics, what is the smallest measurement that can be used for gamma rays? Micrometres, nanometres or picometres?

Cub: Nanometres?

Anne: No, picometres. Cuddles, in politics, who was the leader of the Labour Party before Jeremy Corbyn took over in 2015?

Cuddles: Ed Miliband.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in television, the actress June Foray who died last year voiced various cartoon characters including which flying squirrel?

Petunia: Rocky.

Anne: I'll accept. Sniffles, in biology, what organ is said to be the most important and delicate organ that must work for an animal body to stay alive?

Sniffles: The brain.

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In music, which spinoff group had two UK No. 2 hits called "One Step Closer" and "Automatic High"?

Cub: Um… pass.

Anne: S Club Juniors. Cuddles, in sport, the 2000 Summer Olympic Games are held in which city?

Cuddles: Sydney.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in films, the British actor Emma Watson starred in which Disney princess film remake?

Petunia: Beauty and the Beast.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in religion, the Buddha was born in which century before the Christ era? 4th, 3rd or 2nd?

Sniffles: The… fourth.

Anne: Correct. Cub…

Cub: BANK!

Anne: In economy, which of these is worth more? Pounds, Yen or Euro?

Cub: …Yen.

Anne: Pounds. Cuddles, in astronomy, when a red supergiant explodes into a supernova, it then reforms into either a black hole or which other star?

Cuddles: Neutron star.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in geography, what T is the term used to describe two rivers that join together?

Petunia: …tributary.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles…

Sniffles: BANK!

Anne: In chemistry, which of these has the heaviest-

 _Before Anne can finish her question, the end-of-round jingle suddenly plays throughout the studio_

Anne: Time's up, I can't complete the question. And in that round… you, team, banked an exhausting, blinking, dwindling £10,000. Does Cuddles get turned into a lifeless plush? Does Petunia finally raise a stink? Is it the end of Sniffles' payback against the ants? Or is it bedtime for Cub?

Audience: Aww...

Anne: I urge you to vote off... The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: Having a disastrous round, Cub answered no questions correctly, making him the weakest link. Petunia who was the weakest link in the last round is now the strongest link in this. But will the others realise this?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Cub.

Petunia: Cub.

Sniffles: Cub.

Cub: Cuddles.

 _The audience groan in disappointment. A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Petunia_

Anne: Petunia. Can you remember what happened one day when you started dating with Handy?

Petunia: Yeah… at first I lost my hands when a window sliced into my arms. I just can't stand staying happy without them… *sniff*

Audience: Awww…

Petunia: …that was until then when I spotted Handy with no hands. We instantly connected our hearts to each other.

Anne: According to my smart memory, you actually started this crush when he made a treehouse for you.

Petunia: Maybe…

Anne: What he didn't know was that some unexpected flames spread you.

Petunia: I just have no idea how that happened!

Anne: Hm. Why do you want Cub to be sent off?

Petunia: I… I had to vote him off because I don't think he answered a question correctly.

 _Anne turns to Cub_

Anne: I'm so sorry Cub…

Cub (sadly): That is the game… right?

Anne: Wait here for a sec.

 _Anne walks towards Cub's podium before giving a soft kiss on his head. Cub blushes as the audience sighed in awe_

Pop (offscreen): Unbelievable…

 _Anne then gets back to her computer podium_

Anne: (whining) I have to say this Cub…

Cub: (nervously) …ok.

Anne: (falsely whimpering) You are the weakest link! Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Cub leaves his podium. Cub smiles a bit when hearing the people applaud for him_

Pop (offscreen): Well done, son.

 _Cub continues to take the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Cub having an interview_

Cub: Sad not to win the weakest wink. But… I'm also happy for taking part. Especially my daddy supporting for me! Cuddles should leave; I care less about him than Sniffwes and Petunia, my best babysitters.


	7. Round 7

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round seven, team. In the bank, £274,000. There are three of you left; another ten seconds off your time. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round… that's you, Petunia. Let's play… The Weakest Link.

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Petunia_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there are 2 minutes. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Petunia, in politics, what is Ronald Reagan's middle name?

Petunia: Wilson.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, the Globe Theatre in London was burnt down in 1613 during which Tudor play by William Shakespeare?

Sniffles: …Henry VIII.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in music, the rapper Marshall Bruce Mathers III came up with his alias named after which chocolate brand?

Cuddles: M&M's.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in media, what U is the company that produced the following videogames such as Just Dance, Assassins Creed and Rayman?

Petunia: …Ubisoft.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in history, what year did the Cold War end?

Sniffles: …1991.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles…

Cuddles: BANK!

Anne: In geography, which is the only continent that has heavily changed its temperature after the continental drift?

Cuddles: Antarctica.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in television, John Anderson is best known as the referee in the UK version of which sports entertainment game show?

Petunia: Gladiators.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in biology, a human head has approximately how many hairs? Ten thousand or one hundred thousand?

Sniffles: One hundred thousand.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in films, who provides the voice of Buzz Lightyear in the 1995 Pixar film, Toy story?

Cuddles: Tom Hanks.

Anne: Tim Allen. Petunia, in chemistry, if Hydrogen, Nitrogen and Oxygen are mixed together, they form which type of acid?

Petunia: Nitric!

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in maths, which of these is NOT a prime number? 13, 25 or 37?

Sniffles: …25!

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in food, the beef bourguignon was originated in which country?

Cuddles: France.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in physics, the symbol that shows a circle with an X usually represents which electronic appliance?

Petunia: Lightbulb!

Anne: I'll accept. Sniffles, in literature, what C is the title of the dark fantasy children's novel written by Neil Gaiman?

Sniffles: Coraline.

Anne: Correct. Cuddles, in maths, what is the square root of 400?

Cuddles: Um, twenty!

Anne: Correct. Petunia…

Petunia: BANK!

 _The end-of-round jingle suddenly plays throughout the studio, just after Petunia banks the money_

Anne: Time's up, your bank was in time. And in that round, you have banked £35,000. Now in Round eight, you get the chance to treble what you bank. Which means in the next round, there's £300,000 to be won. Before that… it's time to vote off… The Weakest Link.

 _Soon, all the spotlights turn red, and the contestants start voting by writing the names on their touch screens_

John: At this crucial stage of the game, Cuddles is the weakest link. Statistically, Sniffles is the strongest link for the second time. But who will lose out… in the final vote?

 _All the contestants finish voting_

Anne: Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

 _The camera pans to every contestant who press their buttons to reveal their choice on their electric podiums_

Cuddles: Sniffles.

Petunia: Cuddles.

Sniffles: Cuddles.

 _A couple seconds later, Anne turns to Petunia_

Anne: Petunia, why Cuddles?

Petunia: He got one question wrong while we got all of our answers right.

Anne: Yeah, so much for your OCD.

Petunia: Indeed it is.

Anne: Sniffles, why Cuddles?

Sniffles: He banked a bit too early, and if we had to bank just until a wrong answer is given, we would have won 95,000 in that round.

Audience: Ooohh!

Anne: Cleverdick. Well, Cuddles, with two votes, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

 _The audience clap as Cuddles leaves his podium, and taking the Walk of Shame. The screen fades to the next slide of Cuddles having an interview_

Cuddles: I was this close to making it into the final two. I mean, I have to admit it, you just have to focus even more carefully with the questions, and not even make just one mistake. Anyway, I wish Sniffles and Petunia the best of luck to winning the money for their charity. They could even get free hugs from me, Cuddles!


	8. Round 8 and Head-to-head round

_The screen cuts back to the studio_

Anne: Round eight, and you've hit £309,000. There are two of you left, and this time, you only have 90 seconds. But, whatever you win will be trebled. We'll start with the strongest link in the last round, and that is Sniffles.

Sniffles: This is our chance Petunia.

Petunia: We'll give it our best shot!

Anne: Let's play… The Weakest Link!

 _The short jingle plays as Anne turns her computer podium to Sniffles_

Anne: Start the clock.

 _The time starts; this time there is 1 minute and 30 seconds. The money tree fades in_

Anne: Sniffles, in sport, an Olympic pool is measured how many metres long?

Sniffles: Um, 50!

Anne: Correct. Petunia, what film has been adopted as the mascot of Amblin Entertainment with the main characters next to the logo?

Petunia: …E.T.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in chemistry, actinium, uranium and einsteinium are all elements from which family?

Sniffles: Actinides!

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in television, what is displayed on every tubby toast in the British children's show Teletubbies?

Petunia: Smiley faces.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in the game Monopoly, what is the third colour group on the board?

Sniffles: …Pink.

Anne: Correct. Petunia, in economy, does the British pounds against American dollars strengthen or weaken after Brexit?

Petunia: Uh… weaken?

Anne: Correct! Sniffles…

Sniffles: BANK!

Anne: In geography, how many countries border Germany?

Sniffles: …Is it six?

Anne: No, eight. Petunia, in music, the Danish band Aqua is best known for their breakthrough hit of what title?

Petunia: Barbie Girl.

Anne: Correct. Sniffles, in history, who attempted to burn down the Houses of Parliament in 1605?

Sniffles: Guy Fawkes.

Anne: Correct. Petunia. In biology, what is the only kingdom in which their cells contain cell walls?

Petunia: …Plant!

Anne: Correct. Sniffles…

Sniffles: BANK!

Anne: In terminology, the origin of-

 _Before Anne can finish her question, the end-of-round jingle suddenly plays throughout the studio_

Anne: Time's up, I can't complete the question. And in that final round, you have managed to bank a total of £28,000. We'll treble that and add it to the prize money; it gives you a grand total… of £393,000.

 _The audience applaud for the big amount of the prize money_

Petunia: That's a great amount…

Sniffles: Well… we both wanted to win that.

Anne: Only one of you, however, will take that money home. Now, you will be playing against each other, head to head. I will be asking alternate questions, best of five. Whoever answers the most correctly wins; it's as simple as that. If the score's a tie after five, then we'll go for Sudden Death until we have a winner. So, Petunia and Sniffles, for £393,000, let's play… THE WEAKEST LINK!

 _A loud and quick jingle plays as we then see several links raining from the top of the screen. The logo appears on the background for just a second before one of the raining links fall close above the screen. It wipes down to re-view the studio, before the camera quickly zooms in towards Anne from the back_

Anne: Petunia, as the strongest link in the last round, you have a choice of who goes first.

Petunia: …I'll let Sniffles go first.

 _A bombastic jingle plays briefly before the spotlights shone on Petunia and Sniffles_

Anne: Sniffles… Out of all the types of reptile… which one of them… has the biggest lifespan?

 _Sniffles thinks for a moment_

Sniffles: Tortoise.

Anne: That is the correct answer. Petunia… Ray Kroc was the founder and chairman of the board… for what enormous restaurant chain?

Petunia: McDonald's.

Anne: That is the correct answer. Sniffles… Originated in Mexico… what four letter word is the name of the dessert… that was also commonly known as Crème Caramel?

 _Sniffles thinks for a moment before having a guess_

Sniffles: …Crem.

Anne: No, the correct answer is flan. Petunia… The album "This Is Acting"… became a UK No. 2 hit by which Australian musician?

Petunia: …Sia.

Anne: That is the correct answer. Sniffles… Hosted by Bob Monkhouse until 1983… what is the title of the gameshow… that involves members giving out the common answers from survey?

Sniffles: Family Fortunes.

Anne: That is the correct answer. Petunia… Which four letter word… is defined as a part of the body… between the armpit and the hip?

 _Petunia tries to imagine herself looking at that are of her body_

Petunia: Ribs.

Anne: No, the correct answer is side. Sniffles… What even number… is said to be the lucky number in China?

Sniffles: 8!

Anne: That is the correct answer. Petunia… Launched in 1983… what is the name of company that involves high fidelity audio and visual production... founded by George Lucas?

Petunia: …DTS?

Anne: No, the correct answer is THX. Sniffles… if you answer this question correctly, you have won. The Eurovision Song Contest… was held in which country in 2012?

 _Sniffles tries to think as hard as he could_

Sniffles: Sweden?

Anne: No, the correct answer is Azerbaijan. Petunia… you need to answer this question correctly to stay in the game. Which country originated the children's musical LazyTown… created by Magnus Scheving?

 _In despair, Petunia nervously thinks for a few moments_

Petunia: …Italy?

Anne: No, the correct answer is Iceland.

 _The end-of-head-to-head round jingle suddenly booms throughout the studio. Sniffles answered three right while Petunia answered two right. As the jingle ends, the audience cheer and applaud for Sniffles' victory, whereupon he becomes very shocked_

Splendid (offscreen): I'M SO PROUD OF YOU SNIFFLES!

 _Sniffles turns to see Splendid in the audience. His eyes widen as he cannot believe he won, plus getting to see Splendid supporting him_

Sniffles: SPLENDID! You're here all this time! Oh, thank you for coming here…

Anne: That means, Sniffles…

 _Sniffles turns back to her_

Anne: You are tonight's strongest link, and you go away… with £393,000. What are you going to do with the money?

Sniffles: Wow… Okay, £93,000 is going to World Wide Fund for Nature, and the other £300,000 is going to my favourite action company to support more money for more series of Splendid the Flying Squirrel.

 _The audience clap again_

Splendid (pleased): Thanks a heap…

 _Anne turns to Petunia who gets extremely sad_

Anne: Petunia… you leave with nothing.

 _Anne turns around to face us_

Anne: Join us again for The Weakest Link. Goodbye!

 _The audience applaud for the final time. The screen fades to reveal a very despaired Petunia having an interview, as the credits roll from the right hand side of the screen_

Petunia: It makes me upset because I thought I would always achieve the best I can, and… *sniff* …I didn't this time! (cries)

 _It now cuts to Sniffles having an interview_

Sniffles: Today has been one of the best days ever for me. I actually thought I couldn't win because of the chances with all the other eight friends of mine. But £393,000 will change my cute, innocent life forever… and probably my idol's life too! Heheh…

 _The credits finish rolling before cutting to the final copyright screen_


End file.
